How to Be a Cowboy
by Carolina Galli
Published Fri, May 14 2010, 11:05 am
How to be a Cowboy – The clubZone Guide
Our guide will take you from this… To this! In a few easy steps…
Most people think that cowboy hats are meant to shield you from the sun and provide an effective way to hide bottles of rye on your head. Although both valid uses; the real value of cowboy hats is that you can tip them to ladies. Tipping your hat is cowboy code for “I want to sleep with you but can’t be bothered to leave my chair at the moment.” Get a hat and save energy by working a passive pick up game.
(1 hat tip, 2 chicks – the passive pickup works again!)
(Seriously guys, it’s just this easy)
- Does the shirt have a collar and buttons?
- Is the shirt hideous off colour plaid or does it feature ridiculous embroidered floral graphics?
- When you look at the price is your first reaction to exclaim, “I can’t believe someone would pay this much for a shirt”!
(Plaid and floral!?! Aiiiieeee!! I got it at Ross!)
Cowboy boots should fit tight, be impossible to break in, and be so tough to walk in that they cause you to stumble around like some sort of drunkard. Bonus points are given to modern day cowboys who make sure that their boots are crafted from endangered reptiles like the crocodile or sea turtle.
Wear them, it’s the law
(If Lil’ John was a cowboy, he’d wear this)
Or, for those of you that can’t be bothered to spend more than 5 minutes of effort on anything you can forgo all of the above advice, grab a straw hat, rip the sleeves off of your shirt, and shotgun a beer – congratulations, you’re a cowboy!
(Mastery of the 5 minute cowboy conversion is an art)
Once you’re properly geared up get info and tickets to the best Calgary Stampede parties at www.stampedeZone.com – Yee Haw! Related Articles